How To Handle Our Kids
Being parents it is our responsibility to correct unruly behavior from our children. There are times that children seem to willfully defy us, and there are times that we receive a note or phone calls from the school to say that our child has made inappropriate things or demonstrated poor behavior. This will happen, and it’s okay because behavior is a way of communicating with others. It could be that this poor behavior is aimed at reaching a specific goal, such as receiving our attention or a snack.
As parents it is helpful to seek and understand the root cause of misbehavior, if we know why it is happening it can be easier to redirect. However, no matter the reason it is happening, it is still our responsibility. It’s up to us to handle it.
Here Are Some Strategies That Could Help You Handle Your Child’s Behavior:
Respect Your Child
As parents we want to be respected by our children. It helps when we model that respect to them too. Respect is a two-way street. One great way to show respect is to approach our children without judgement. This demonstrates and builds a trust that we respect their ability to learn and grow. They will see for themselves that their choices matter.
Seek to Understand Your Child’s Behavior
Seek to find out why our child is choosing to behave a certain way. It could be a simple solution of not knowing how to communicate their needs. What environmental factors are there? They could be cold, tired, hungry, etc. Maybe they had a rough day and something is bothering them from earlier on? Seeking to understand their decisions promotes self-awareness by asking questions, and allowing time to reflect. Learning about their decisions will empower our children to make better choices.
Remember that these same factors could be affecting you. Try to check-in and see if your child is mirroring your own behaviors. Sometimes we catch the attitude of those around us. If you’re in a bad mood too, take a moment to settle down, and then return to the situation at hand.
Offer alternatives for how to achieve their goals. Ask for what you need too. Give and take can get a lot done.
Keep Promises and Aim for Honesty
Our children remember the promises we make, even when we don’t. They take our words very seriously, so it’s important that we make promises we can keep, and give accurate information when we are able. Our children are smart, and they trust us to tell the truth. When we avoid lying to our children we show them that we can be trusted, and we teach them how to be trusted too.
Don’t Forget to Tell the World What’s Good
It’s okay to let our children know that their behavior isn’t acceptable. However, remember that we are approaching without judgement, seeking to understand and respecting our children. Save the conversation about the behaviour until later, or do it quietly. We can avoid leaving the situation with feelings of guilt and shame.
When we are talking with friends and family, it is okay to acknowledge the challenges. However, it’s also important to celebrate the success. Positive praise is a wonderful motivator, our children appreciate knowing we’re proud. Promote the good, and the bad will have less presence.
Enroll a Positive School Environment
Our children spend a lot of time is school. Since most parents work, our children are often in the care of early education providers, and or nannies/caregivers. These environments have a big impact on the behavior of our children. Through this experience they are socialized and they learn what is acceptable behavior.
At Alpha we emphasize the importance of self-esteem and social skills. We aim to empower children through self-confidence gained from playing and learning, and working through any peer conflicts they may encounter.
If you would like to learn more about programs, facilities and approaches to childcare, please get in touch!